so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
