Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize