Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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