sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
