she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
