I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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