she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
