so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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