His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip