Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?