So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.