the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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