I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
