I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
