Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
