is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
