it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
