Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
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I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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