I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
