If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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