I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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