A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
