did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize