if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
