tell your sister to shave her snatch
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
