she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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