He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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