he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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