This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
