D3 body, D1 cock
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
