Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
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Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You dont lie about slip and slides
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Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.