I think my vagina is haunted
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.