My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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