thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
