we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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