have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
