I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
