this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
