I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
