I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
