I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
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We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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