For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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