Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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