So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
