if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
