what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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