Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
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