Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize