White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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