No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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