you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
