So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
