if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
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