wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
