My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
