just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
