I hate all girls vehemently.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
