if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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