i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
