carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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