I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
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