..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
