Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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