At least make sure they are 18
Why
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I queefed so loud it echoed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
