If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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