I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
