It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
