D3 body, D1 cock
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
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She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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